It’s Friday, finally. Nothing in my life worth mentioning. I don’t even know why I’m updating.

I have so much work to do for school. I’m not going to have a Spring Break. I have 2 papers due next week. I have ANOTHER chem homework set due Sunday. I have about 8 books to read, and that’s being generous.

Right now I just feel like life is spinning around me. I feel like the only thing I can do to keep myself slipping from a state that I really can’t afford to be in is consume myself with work. I’m already sleeping every other day, if that. Nothing is going my way…physically…mentally…emotionally.

I’m going to go watch Rent. This is why I love my job. Just Like Heaven is an amazing movie…it made me feel better…

Sometimes in order to understand life you have to step out of it. It’s like looking through a snow globe…or examining a work of art. Everyone has their own take on it, their on view, their own opinion…

I feel like I’m still trying to find my place in life. You know how most people can fit into categories? Well it’s different for me. A lot of the time it feels like “What am I doing with my life?” I don’t have a bad life. I have a pretty good life. But there isn’t any direction. I’m free spirited. I do what I feel at that moment. Later on I sit back and think…”Why did I do that?” And even though most people see me as free spirited I tend to think things through so carefully–sometimes. I have my beliefs and I stand for what I believe in. I’m a living contradiction, in a sense. I’m shy, but I’m not. I’m talkative, but I’m not. I’m a diva, but I’m not. You know how people say there’s black and then there’s white. Well I fit in that gray area, but not really. I’m sooo different. I like being different. I’m mysterious.

I feel like I’m losing myself everyday. With each day a piece of me just vanishes. I no longer have the passion for school as I use to. I just go because it’s what I have to do, I guess. I don’t know what else I could do. I figure as soon as I get over this I’ll be able to live a life that I really want to live, so I just do it…no matter how hard it is or how unhappy it makes me. I don’t even know what I’m going to major in and that part scares me. I’ve been following through the engineering discipline since I entered in the Summer of 2004. I know that I don’t want to do medicine anymore. I don’t like science. Math is okay, but I wouldn’t mind doing without. I don’t really like anything. There are some things in math that I love doing. And with English, I love writing but reading often bores me…especially when there is so much to read.

Right now I wish I could shake the snow globe of life and see where I will be in the next 10 years. See if I’m happy, and if that’s the direction I should take. I wish we could get a sneak peak on life and what would happen IF you did this or that. I guess that’s why they say life is what you make it. Even if you are dealt a shitty hand it’s up to you to win the game. So with that…I guess all I can say is let the game begin…

The Xtra Large Super Bowl…that’s a pretty big bowl, huh? Anywhoo…Super Bowl XL is right around the corner and Detroit is pulling one of it’s stunts with an expected 6-12 inches of snow. LMFAO…I would normally just blow it over because the weather is usually unpredictible here. They promised us 7 inches a few weeks ago and we got nothing….but since it’s snowing right now and it’s freezing cold I think we are going to get a lot of something. Some plans will be messed up. This is kind of funny though. I couldn’t sit out there in that stuff. It’s crazy. But that’s just me…and I’m just sayin…

I don’t feel like going to work today. It’s somewhat of a drag. Plus it’s super cold. Hopefully everyone will stay in today, but people usually rush out to get movies when it is cold so they can have something to do while they are trapped in the house.

I went to the studio today. There is so much that you have to learn before you get certified. It’s crazy because they just gloss over so quickly, and then expect you to pass the test. I’m going to go next week and play around with the stuff and prepare for the test. It takes you about a month to get certified. What a drag. I doubt if I’ll even be using it that much…I just want it so I can play around during Spring Break if I had nothing else to do.

I wish I was in Detroit this weekend. I know it’s gonna be fun. I could get myself into a bunch of mess though My dad was gonna come and get me but I said it’s a waste. He’ll have to drive up here at 8am, by the time we get back we have to go to church, and after that it’s a bunch of rush/rush stuff…then the game. I’ll never get back to school before Monday, or Tuesday at that…not worth it.