Some days I feel so sad. I don’t know what’s going on with me. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I do know that I’m falling into the slumps of depression again. When there isn’t depression there’s stress…when there isn’t stress there’s depression. Why can’t I just be normal? Every day it’s harder and harder for me to go to sleep. Today I actually took a nap and almost overslept a class that I totally forgot I had a quiz for…that I in turn failed…AGAIN! I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like this isn’t for me. Sometimes I’m not sure. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life, and I don’t have time to figure it out. I’m just going with the motions. School seems to be the “right” thing to do right now. Besides I’m not at a loss for going and it beats staying at home. I wish I had some motivation. I wish I had a purpose. In high school I had things to look forward to so even though I couldn’t stand most of the classes and the people, I had that thing that made me, me. I just can’t seem to find it here. I’m jumping around like a fish out of water. Do this major, do that, do this. My life is so far from normal. I work at a video store because I want to, not because I need to. I take classes that might not even go toward my degree…if I ever decide what my major is going to be. I’m the President of a company at the age of 19. I’m so clueless to what I’m doing with my life. In high school I was the girl who had it together. The girl that would breeze through college. The girl who would have everything. Truth is I’m lonely. I’m lonely a lot. Maybe if I surrounded myself around more people I wouldn’t be so lonely, but this is a sick world. You can’t seem to trust anyone. I’m so scared of getting hurt. I always get hurt. Always. This might be my last entry here. I love blogging, and having a journal, but I don’t like having one mainstream. I like being me because I want to, not because people expect me to. I like having privacy. I like being able to sit at my computer and talk about whatever rolls off of my fingertips…and lately I’ve been using the backspace key a little to much. This site is wonderful. The people I met from here are wonderful. I just think it’s time for me to close this chapter in my book. I think it’s time for me to turn over a new leaf. I’m pretty sure you will see me around soon, so expect the unexpected.