Blahzay…I guess it’s about time for me to blog here. I’ve been kinda not feeling like dealing with this because of a comment that was made, but whatever. People will be people, what can I do? I know I said that I would have a layout and new style up by now but that’s not gonna happen. Maybe in 2 weeks. I’m just so busy. I don’t have time for anything and I was so set back this whole weekend…and I had Mon. and Tues. off of school. I’m so out of it. I don’t know what’s up. I have to write a story for my English class. It’s supposed to be 2 pages so I gotta get straight to the point. I know how I want it to end, I just gotta figure out a storyline. Ha.

Life has been quite…differently…lately. Oh, and someone from school has found this site. Ha. I’m tired of it. I need a change. Something new. Or just an ending. Maybe it’s time for me to give up this website gig and go on to other things. What do you think? Maybe I’ll just hang around the LJ…if I even go there. Who knows. I did a disappearing act before at the end of 04′/beginning of 05′ and I came back…so maybe I need to do that again. Maybe I just need time away. I don’t like censoring what I say because of who might be reading or because of the comments I’m going to get. For some reason that takes away from this site as a whole. I know sometimes I can get really emotional and personal and I don’t want to take the chance of getting hurt because of the things I say…again. It’s my life and maybe the world would be better without me, but that’s not for you to decide.

I’m about to explode. I’m going through this depression thing that I’m trying not to get caught up in. I’m not sure how to explain it but I’m having these emotional breakdowns very, very frequently when I just cry and cry and cry. That drains me. Then I have to try to bring myself up out of the slumps and dealing with that, school, and these damn tests every week I’m driving myself crazy. Not to mention these fake friends. I expect very little from girls because that’s just how it’s always been. I’m starting to be iffy about guy friends also. It’s like they always want to make something sexual and I’m like can we please not go there. I just think I need to stay away from guys for a while unless it’s like a huge mixed crowd. Can’t have a decent conversation about anything…sucks.

It’s so beautiful outside today. There’s not a cloud in the sky. The sun is shining but it’s not hot. It’s feels like an early spring day, or a late summer day. So beautiful. I want to go out by the lake and try to write but every time I go there I’m surrounded by deers and other nature animals. Not to pleasant because I think they’ll try to eat me or something.

My hair needs to be fixed. The front is short and it looks weird. My front is always always long because I use that to cover up the sides of my face, but its soooo short now. I don’t like it. I don’t like wearing braids and stuff but I’m thinking about getting those African twists just because I don’t want zillions and I think those would be cool for my big face. I can easily rock ethnic hairstyles just as with everything else…I just don’t like my hair like it is now. GRRRR!